Blending Step Families

It is becoming more common to try to blend two families into one. The premature death of a spouse or an unavoidable divorce creates difficulties for children as well as adults. If you find yourself or your children in this situation, consider some of the following suggestions:

Parents
Pray together for guidance prior to marriage.

Discuss the possibility of marriage with your children prior to setting a date. Listen to their comments, respect their feelings, and calm their fears. Always answer their questions.

Meet the extended family of the prospective spouse.

Be generous with your hugs and words of reassurance.

Listen, listen, listen.

Grandparents
Make the proposed marriage a matter of prayer.

Be available for the children. Listen to their concerns—they are real to them.

Meet the new family and be open to their needs and desires.

Treat children and stepchildren with the same fairness and respect.

Let the stepchildren know they are loved and a vital part of the family—that they are important to you.

Try not to overreact to insecure comments or behavior during the early days of the blending process.

Solve problems or difficulties one at a time and as soon as possible in order to avoid future conflict.

Be willing to talk about the stepchildren's other parent even if it is unpleasant for you. The child needs a listening ear.

Do things together such as baking cookies, making crafts, or going on a picnic. Get to know each other.

Create some new traditions which are unique to the blended family.

<BACK