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DEALING WITH DEATH AND DYING |
by Dr. Richard D. Dobbins,
Minister and Psychologist
Discussing death and dying is taboo in most circles. I think most
of us are curious about dying and death, but we are inhibited in
raising the subject in conversation with other people. We ought
to be talking about it more as a society, because inevitably this
is something that happens to all of us.
For one thing human beings are afraid of dying. The Bible says some
people are held in bondage to this fear all of their lives. There
are some things we must understand to break out of this fear of
death. We must understand that death and dying are:
Real
In our society, for example, many of the video games that young
people play involve blasting human beings into pieces, and then
when you start a new game everybody is alive again. This leaves
many of our children thinking about death as though it were not
real, as though it were not terminal.
But if we are going to deal with death and dying
effectively, we must, first of all, see it as real. Life has two
terminal points, birth and death, and if you are going to prepare
for death and dying realistically, you must acknowledge that just
as there was a time when you came into this world, there will be
a time when you leave this world. Denying that is going to leave
you unprepared for the time when death and dying will be your experience.
You need to see that so that you can use the
life that you have in a way that is pleasing to God and a way that
gives you a lot of joy.
Inevitable
I think somewhere between the morbidity that some people have and
being preoccupied with the whole process of death and dying and
the hysteria that some people have of never wanting to talk about
death and dying, there is a good, wholesome reality where we realize
death and dying are part of living. That, just as we are born and
this is the culmination of a process of conception and gestation,
there will come a time when dying will lead us to the end of our
life, which is called death.
One of the great tourist attractions in Europe
is the awesome clock in the public square in Prague, capital of
the Czech Republic. The theme of that great clock is the inevitability
of death. The grim reaper, who makes his appearance every hour on
the hour, symbolizes death. As he appears a young man steps forward
to protest that he is too young to die. Then, a vain man appears
protesting that he is too handsome to die. Finally, a merchant appears
pleading that he has not yet made enough money. But the grim reaper
will not be denied. The message of the clock is the inevitability
of death—the passerby is reminded of the value of life. What
a lesson to learn!
Personal
It is not easy to see death as personal. We know that we will die
someday, but we have an uncanny ability as seeing it happening to
everyone but us. Sometimes I jokingly say that when my friends learn
of my death they will comfort themselves by saying, “Well,
he lived a good, long life.” By relegating death to be appropriate
for me, they will protect themselves. But very few normal human
beings want to die. We all want every day of decent life we can
have. You have perhaps repeated the saying, “Every day above
ground is a good day.”
In fact, we try to pretend that we are not as
old as we are. That is what the cosmetic industry is all about.
We want to try to fool ourselves into believing that we are not
as old as we are, that we are younger than we are. This is one way
we try to avoid the personal dimensions of death.
But realistically we should have our final papers
and everything in order long before our personal deaths. I see so
many times loved ones are left with little or no guidance in terms
of what needs to be done when a person has died. That is because
the person did not want to deal with the reality of death, the inevitability
of death, and the personal dimensions of death. One who looks at
death realistically is going to make these preparations. That is
the last act of love you can display for your family and your loved
ones.
Because the truth of the matter is that I will
die. You will die. The sooner we see this inevitability as personal,
the wiser we will live our lives.
Providential
Solomon reminds us that there is a time to be born and a time to
die (see Ecclesiastes 3:2). But I think there are ways in which
lives are shortened. That is the role of our enemy, the devil. Jesus
calls him the thief; he comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy
(see John 10:10). We can shorten our days by being careless in our
health habits. And we can shorten our days by living dangerously.
We can also lengthen life through healing. God
does grant us information through the medical sciences that can
bring healing and, of course, there are times where anointing with
oil and the prayer of faith brings healing to a person who is in
the process of dying.
Of course, those of us who believe in the sanctity
of life believe that only God should control the process of dying
and death. This is one thing both Calvinists and Armenians agree
on. That is, we see death as providential; it puts God in charge
of the process. He was in charge of my birth. I was not the least
bit anxious about whether I was going to make it into this world
or not. And realizing that He is in charge of my death relieves
the anxiety of dying. The Psalmist said, “Yea, though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me” (Psalm 23:4).
Not Terminal
Believers are looking forward to the coming of the Lord. Sometimes
we refer to this event as the Rapture. This is not a biblical word,
but it is a biblical event that Paul refers to in 1 Thessalonians
4:16,17:
“For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout,
with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and
the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and
remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet
the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.”
So death is not terminal for the child of God.
The Bible tells us that death for the children
of God will expand their awareness, will intensify their awareness.
It is not the end of consciousness. It is only the death of the
body.
Here are some biblical references to bear this
out:
1. Moses and Elijah knew what Jesus was facing at Jerusalem (see
Luke 9:28-33).
2. Jesus said we would recognize Abraham and Isaac (see Matthew
8:11).
3. Stephen saw Jesus standing at the right hand of God (see Acts
7:55,56).
4. John saw saints who had died praying (see Revelation 7:9,10).
God does not want us to be morbidly preoccupied
with our death, but He does want us to deal with it realistically
and practically. In a sense, no one is really ready to live until
he is ready to die. God wants us to live as though each day were
our last and dream like we will never die.
The God who gives you grace to live by will give
you grace to die by. Are you on talking terms with Him? Do you know
His Son Jesus Christ as your Savior?
Jesus willingly faced death so that your sins
could be forgiven and you can go to heaven when you die. Open your
heart to Him today and ask Him to forgive your sins. He will not
only help you face death realistically, but He will also make life
a celebration for you.
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