The Periodic Midlife/Longlife Update E-newsletter
is devoted to sharing information and enhancing excellence in ongoing faith and holistic formation for maturing adults from midlife through end of life.

Bill Prather, Founder and Director
of Partners In Pastoral Care
seeks to provide members with an ongoing flow of practical information that leaders/models can use directly with adults of all ages. Training is also offered through the educational arm of Partners in Pastoral Care.

All opinions expressed herein are those of the author. Permission is granted to reproduce this issue in whole or in part as long as its source is identified.

13300-56 South Cleveland Avenue
Suite 238
Fort Myers, FL 33907
239.482.3212
239 482 3212 fax
Shepardscare@aol.com
www.partnersinpastoralcare.org

Don’t ever take a fence down until you know the reason why it was put up.
G.K. Chesterton 1874-1936

In This Issue:

1.  Making a Spiritual Journey Out of Retirement
2.  The Latest Barna Group Study along with insights for ministry to the Midlife/Longlife Generations.   
3.  A Short Story – Great Discussion Tool
4.  Exceptional Resource for Reminiscing
5.  Consider Checking this Book on Long Term Care Out
6.  Opportunity of a Lifetime for You and/or Those of Your Flock  

1.  The “snowbird season” is almost over here in Florida. Frankly, I will not miss the congested roadways, dinner establishments, workout facilities and parking places. What I will miss most are those beautiful people who consider themselves retired, many of whom I have become acquainted with, exchanged stories with, worshipped with, and shared laughter and tears with.
 
During these last four or five months, I have asked, as I have done so over the past three years, these acquaintances what retirement means to them. Not surprisingly, they have once again, validated previously that retirement means: a frenetic action of the body, excessive social interaction, and a constant search for entertainment. For example, a large, respected Evangelical church with a “fantastic Senior Adult Ministry” here in Southwest Florida has sponsored (from the first of January until the end of March) 30 senior men’s golf outings, 22 senior women’s golf outings, and eight senior mixed golf outings. There have been 19 weekly senior men’s and women’s tennis outings and mixed doubles, along with a Saturday-Sunday tournament. There have been 13 sponsored senior tour trips, all the way from a trip to the Bible Land attraction in Orlando to an “Explore the Ecology of the Everglades” outing. The church purchased and sold over 300 tickets to a concert of gospel music. They had numerous “sell-out” senior adult dinner theater outings, not to mention the weekly senior potluck and other socials held at the church campus. 

Yet, on the intellectual and certainly on the spiritual level, it seems to have lulled many of my precious Midlife/Longlife retirees into a somnolence of inactivity and non-stimulation. The earliest worship service on Sunday mornings during the past three months was attended by a sea of white hair but the attendance at the midweek barely increased. The classes offered for the 50+ remained the same but attendance has fallen off thirty percent from two years ago and 20% this past.  There was no increase in the cell groups. I think this quote sums it up rather well:
“The vital Christian retiree should not be so worried that he/she might miss something back at the country club or lodge if they’re not there for a time; rather he/she should be worried that tucked into a comfortable retirement lifestyle, he/she might miss God!”

What are we really pursuing in retirement? My personal, pastoral, professional and clinical experience tells me that our true heart’s desire is deepening levels of life meaning and a peace of heart and mind—a peace that only Jesus can give. 

Is your church and denominational leadership helping its retirees and future retirees move in this direction?  Most churches are traversing troubled waters when it comes to ministering to the Midlife/Longlife Adult. I really believe what is needed are leaders/pastors who can help to revive and redefine retirement living in congregations, renew faith, and illuminate a new vision of holiness and service. Being Christian means we pursue excellence in living life fully as Christ gave us the vision of living abundantly in The Beatitudes. 

Once again, I am facilitating a “Fall Spiritual Journey of Retirement Retreat” and encourage you to explore the possibilities of attending and/or bringing a group of 50+ to our retreat site in the beautiful Smoky Mountains, in Western North Carolina. The event is held when the hardwood trees are magnificent with color, close to magnificent site-seeing along with wonderful events at Pidgon Forge, TN.

Now for a fun little piece I ran across concerning retirement:  www.wandascountryhome.com/fishin/index.html   

With Americans pursuing a growing number of "church" options, some of the traditional measures of church health are being redefined. According to a new study released by The Barna Group, which has been studying church participation patterns since 1984, popular measures such as the percentage of people who are "unchurched" - based on attendance at a conventional church service - are out of date. Various new forms of faith community and experience, such as house churches, marketplace ministries and cyberchurches, must be figured into the mix - and make calculating the percentage of Americans who can be counted as "unchurched" more complicated. The fact that millions of people are now involved in multiple faith communities - for instance, attending a conventional church one week, a house church the next, and interacting with an online faith community in-between - has rendered the standard measures of "churched" and "unchurched" much less precise.

The latest national surveys by The Barna Group address these new behavioral patterns and provide a different approach to evaluating church participation.

According to Barna, one way of examining people's participation in faith communities is by exploring how they practice their corporate faith engagement. Unveiling a new measurement model, Barna identified the following five segments:
·  Unattached - people who had attended neither a conventional church nor an organic faith community (e.g., house church, simple church, intentional community) during the past year. Some of these people use religious media, but they have had no personal interaction with a regularly-convened faith community. This segment represents one out of every four adults (23%) in America. About one-third of the segment was people who have never attended a church at any time in their life.
·  Intermittents - these adults are essentially "under-churched" - i.e., people who have participated in either a conventional church or an organic faith community within the past year, but not during the past month. Such people constitute about one out of every seven adults (15%). About two-thirds of this group had attended at least one church event at some time within the past six months.
·  Homebodies - people who had not attended a conventional church during the past month, but had attended a meeting of a house church (3%).
·  Blenders - adults who had attended both a conventional church and a house church during the past month. Most of these people attend a conventional church as their primary church, but many are experimenting with new forms of faith community. In total, Blenders represent 3% of the adult population.
·  Conventionals - adults who had attended a conventional church (i.e., a congregational-style, local church) during the past month but had not attended a house church. Almost three out of every five adults (56%) fit this description. This participation includes attending any of a wide variety of conventional-church events, such as weekend services, mid-week services, special events, or church-based classes.
Cross-Pollinating the Church
In addition to those five segments, the Barna report revealed that there is a growing degree of ministry crossover in America. When examining the spiritual participation of adults during the past month, the Barna team discovered that more than one out of every five adults had been involved in two or more types of churches: a conventional church, a house church, a marketplace church, a real-time ministry event on the Internet, or a live ministry event in the community.
Demonstrating the complexity of measuring people’s faith commitments, the Barna study identified the nature of people’s overlapping faith practices.
·  Among adults who were churched (either conventionally or alternatively) 15% had experienced the presence of God or expressed their faith in God through a faith-oriented website within the past month. Half as many (7%) said they had such an experience through a real-time event on the Internet.
·  One out of every eight churched adults (13%) said they had experienced the presence of God or expressed their faith in God through a ministry that met in the marketplace (e.g., their workplace, athletic event, etc.) during the past month.
·  Twice as many churched people (28%) said they had experienced the presence of God or expressed their faith in God through their involvement with a special ministry event (such as a worship concert or community service activity).
·  A majority of the public claimed to have experienced the presence of God or expressed their faith in God through some form of interaction with religious television or radio programs.
Reaching the Unattached
With the final weeks of the Easter season rapidly approaching, the Barna study also identified some of the characteristics of the Unattached that might enable conventional churches or other ministries to more adeptly connect with those people.
Compared to regular churchgoers, the Unattached are:
·  more likely to feel stressed out
·  less likely to be concerned about the moral condition of the nation
·  much less likely to believe that they are making a positive difference in the world
·  less optimistic about the future
·  far less likely to believe that the Bible is totally accurate in its principles
·  substantially more likely to believe that Satan and the Holy Spirit are symbolic figures, but are not real
·  more likely to believe that Jesus Christ sinned while He was on earth
·  much more likely to believe that the holy literature of the major faiths all teach the same principles even though they use different stories
·  less likely to believe that a person can be under demonic influence
·  more likely to describe their sociopolitical views as "mostly liberal" than "mostly conservative"
A Unique Profile
Six out of ten adults in the Unattached category (59%) consider themselves to be Christian. Even more surprising was the revelation that 17% of the Unattached are born again Christians - defined as people who have made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ that they consider to be very important in their life, and who believe that they will experience Heaven after they die because they have confessed their sins and accepted Christ as their savior.
A significant proportion of the Unattached engages in traditional faith activities during a typical week. For instance, one-fifth (19%) read the Bible and three out of every five (62%) pray to God during a typical week.
The Unattached distinguished themselves from the churched population demographically, too. They are more likely to be single, male, and to have been divorced at some point. They are also less likely to be registered to vote, which is often a sign of people who feel less connected to or influential in society.
Insights into the Unchurched
George Barna, whose book Grow Your Church from the Outside In describes people who are not connected to a church, discussed the larger context of the unchurched.

"The numbers consistently point out that those who live without a regular face-to-face faith connection tend to be relatively isolated from the mainstream of society, tend to be non-committal in institutional and personal relationships, and typically revel in their independence. Attempting to get them involved in the life of a church is a real challenge. The best chance of getting them to a church is when someone they know and trust invites them, offers to accompany them, and there is reason to believe that the church event will address one of the issues or needs they are struggling with at that moment."

Barna indicated that if past years are any indication, comparatively few of the Unattached are likely to visit a church during this Easter season, but that a significant number of the Intermittents are likely to return at least once.

About the Research
This report is based upon two nationwide telephone surveys conducted by The Barna Group. One survey was a sample of 1003 adults, age 18 and older, conducted in December 2007 randomly selected from across the continental United States. The maximum margin of sampling error associated with the aggregate sample of adults is ±3.2 percentage points at the 95% confidence level. The other survey was based on a national random sample of 1006 adults interviewed in January 2008, also with a maximum margin of sampling error of ±3.2 percentage points at the 95% confidence level. In situations in which the identical question was asked in each survey, and the data were combined, the maximum margin of sampling error for the aggregate sample of 2009 adults is ±2.2 percentage points at the 95% confidence level. Statistical weighting was used to calibrate the sample to known population percentages in relation to demographic variables. All interviews in both surveys were conducted via telephone, and multiple callbacks were made to each telephone number to provide a representative sample.

The Barna Group, Ltd. (which includes its research division, The Barna Research Group) conducts primary research, produces media resources pertaining to spiritual development, and facilitates the healthy spiritual growth of leaders, children, families and Christian ministries. Located in Ventura, California, Barna has been conducting and analyzing primary research to understand cultural trends related to values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors since 1984. If you would like to receive free e-mail notification of the release of each new, bi-monthly update on the latest research findings from The Barna Group, you may subscribe to this free service at the Barna website www.barna.org.

Implications and Questions for Midlife/Longlife Generation Leadership
I am always fascinated by what I consider to be meticulous research and analyses by Barna, testing it among those I am so closely associated with.  Those being the 50+ groups.  After reading this report, the paragraph that captured my attention most was this:  "The numbers consistently point out that those who live without a regular face-to-face faith connection tend to be relatively isolated from the mainstream of society, tend to be non-committal in institutional and personal relationships, and typically revel in their independence. Attempting to get them involved in the life of a church is a real challenge. The best chance of getting them to a church is when someone they know and trust invites them, offers to accompany them, and there is reason to believe that the church event will address one of the issues or needs they are struggling with at that moment."

1.        The older the age group the more critical it is to have “face-to-face faith connections.  Question:  How often do you sit and have a spiritual one-on-one visit with the person age 65 and over?
2.        The older the age group the more critical it is to invest time and energy demonstrating your interest in their person and needs.  It goes without saying that when such is done a powerful, trusting relationship matures.  How often do you sit and listen to life stories?  How well do you know each of your sheep’s, physical, mental and relational wounds?
3.        The older the age group the more difficult it becomes to ask for assistance.  When was the last time or how often do you intentionally accompany the older aging people to services that will address one or more of their needs or issues? 

3.  The story below can be used in helping create a spiritually health interest in taking up challenges in old age.  Prepare questions like: “What have you always wanted to do but never found time to do it when you were younger?” From where do challenges come?  (There is an extended Bible study for yourself or group) Do you think that God expects us, at a certain age, to give up our hopes, wishes and ambitions?  What will be needed to see your greatest challenge accomplished?  What is more important; to accept a challenge or complete a challenge?  Where are challenges born?  What changes have occurred in your life the past five years?  How are you learning to accept the changes?  ( Make sure your questions for discussion are designed for your particular group!)

 The Story 
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at  me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose.

I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get  married, and have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated  her to be  taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she
told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a
chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends.  Every day for the next three months we
would leave class together and talk non-stop. I was always mesmerized
 listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.

She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet.

I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and  stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so  let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop
playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream.  When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even
know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do
one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven
years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn
eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older.  That doesn't take any talent or ability.  The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

4.  You have probably discovered that the Midlife Generation 50 – 65 year olds also enjoy reflecting back on the “good times.”  Therefore, leaders of Midlife/Longlife would do well in subscribing to the Reminisce magazine that brings back the good times.  I am discovering many of those in their 50s try desperately to connect with their parents through stories and anecdotal times and/or events that their parents mentioned or involved.  This magazine helps in facilitating “eureka” moments.  The magazine gifts the Longlifer with the joy of remembering and reflection.  I have had some success in taking the magazine with me when visiting dementia and Alzheimer’s friends and patients.  The joy that was expressed with smiles, laughter and tears is overwhelming, at times. 

The magazine can be ordered by writing:  Reminisce Customer Service, P.O. Box 5294, Harlan, IA 51593-0794 or call 1.800.344.6913 or E-mail subscribersevices@reimanpub.com.

5.  One of the finest publications I have come across concerning long-term care is titled: Long-Term Care:  How to Plan & Pay for it (Nolo).  The author is Joseph L. Matthews who is an attorney who specializes in issues relating to the elderly.  My wife and I realize that this is an area that we surely need to look into, as we are ministering to people every day that have not considered the costs and consequences of not being able to care for each other or themselves. You may do well to have the book available for your Midlife/Longlife groups.  Here I share with you a miniscule part of the basics I learned from the book.  In deciding to purchase long-term-care insurance, I want to buy from an established insurance company.  The best insurance companies earn grades of AAA or AA from Standard & Poor’s and coverage should include…..    Long exclusion period.  I want to select a policy with a 90-day to six-month “exclusion period.”  This means if I ever need care, I would have to pay out of pocket for this period before the benefits begin.  My premiums would be as much as one-third lower than with a 30-day exclusion period, the most common exclusion option. 
Inflation protection.  This protection is best when it is linked to increases in the actual cost of living, not to an arbitrary preset inflation rate.
Premium protection.  I will select a policy that does not allow my insurance company to raise my premium unless it also raises the premium for everyone holding the same policy.  Insurance companies must apply to state regulators for this type of premium raise, making excessive increases less likely (though still possible).
Payout flexibility.  I’m going to make sure that the policy pays for home care, assisted-living care and nursing home care.
Minimal impairment to trigger coverage.  A good policy will offer benefits when I cannot perform two or three daily living tasks, while a poor one might require for or five.
At least three years of coverage.  Research indicates that an extended stay in a facility is unlikely, but the purpose of insurance is to protect against unlikely but financially crippling scenarios. 

Far to many leaders and pastors of Elders are not aware that top facilities can cost well into six figures a year.  You will find, like I did in Long-Term-Care: How to Plan & Pay for It what you must know now about long-term care.

 
6.  Being a real advocate for volunteerism in older adults, I suggest volunteering at the February 2010 Olympics in Vancouver, British Columbia.  But sign up fast because the word just broke and applications will be accepted only through early spring.  For more information call toll free 866.925.8657 or use the web site at www.vancouver2010.com. 
 

This periodic e-newsletter is sent free of charge to pastors, leaders and interested individuals. If you have colleagues or friends that would like to receive this newsletter, please have them e-mail Shepardscare@aol.com and we will add them to our list. If you no longer wish to receive this newsletter, please e-mail Shepardscare@aol.com and put the word "unsubscribe" in the subject line.

The Periodic Midlife/Longlife Update E-newsletter Archives :

• Current Newsletter
• July 2008
• June 2008
• May 2008
• April 2008
• November 2007
• October 2007
• September 2007
• July 2007
• May 2007 Part 1
• December 2006
• November 2006
• July 2006
• June 2006
• April 2006
• February 2006
• January 2006
• December 2005
• October 2005
• September 2005
• August 2005
• July 2005
• June 2005
• May 2005 - Summer Destinations; Fighting Alzheimer’s; etc.
• April 2005
• A Program with Success