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The Periodic Midlife/Longlife Update E-newsletter - January 2006
Before we get into the news letter, I wanted to share the following for your consideration.
Keep the faith,
Bill
I Am The New Year
I am unused, unspotted without blemish.
I stretch before you three hundred sixty-five days long. I will present each day in it's turn, a new leaf in the Book of Life, for you to place upon it your imprint.
It remains for you to make me what you will; if you write with firm, steady strokes, my pages will be a joy to look upon when the next New Year comes. If the pen falters, if uncertainty, doubt or sin mar the page, it will become a day to remember with pain.
I am the New Year. During each hour of the three hundred sixty-five days. I will give you sixty minutes that have never known the use of man. White and pure, I present them; it remains for you to fill them with sixty jeweled seconds of love, hope, endeavor, patience and trust in God.
I am the New Year; I am here-but once past, I can never be recalled.
Make me your best!
Author Unknown
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The Periodic Midlife/Longlife Update E-newsletter is devoted to sharing information and enhancing excellence in ongoing faith and holistic formation for maturing adults from midlife through end of life.
Bill Prather, Founder and Director of Partners In Pastoral Care seeks to provide members with an ongoing flow of practical information that leaders/models can use directly with adults of all ages. Training is also offered through the educational arm of Partners in Pastoral Care.
All opinions expressed herein are those of the author. Permission is granted to reproduce this issue in whole or in part as long as its source is identified.
Self-esteem Support Group meets Thursday at 7:00. Please use rear entrance.
In This Issue:
Type D Personality has Heart Risk
Tips on Helping Elders Enjoy Any Social Gathering
Retirement Will Be Different In Time To Come
Ears hear differently
1. According to a recent article in the Harvard Health Letter the recently defined type D – for distressed-personality brings increased cardiovascular risk. These are people with a high level of emotional distress and reluctance to confide in others. They are downbeat worriers who bottle up their concerns.
Is it any wonder that many a Midlife/Longlife pastor or leader are Type D
personality? Think for a moment and you will recognize that you or a colleague in this ministry fit the definition. So many of these beautiful people are retired from years of pioneering in the faith community, living on a very limited income and have little significant, meaningful personal, pastoral or professional access to or communication with the senior pastor of the congregation or other staff members. We are not about to expose or inner most struggles with any one or more of our congregants. More than we would think have some form of heart disease which in and of itself brings concern and many times, distress with spouse, who is deeply concerned and wants her/his spouse to “give up” ministry, altogether.
One study showed that over a period of 6-10 years the mortality rate for Type D people with coronary disease was 27% while for non-Type Ds it was only 7%. Another study concluded that Type D patients who have had stents following angioplasty were four times more likely than average to have a heart attack or die within nine months of the procedure. An indirect indicator was offered in a Duke University study of 1,300 people with heart disease. The five-year survival of patients who didn’t have a close confidant was 50% compared to 82% of those who did.
What can Type Ds do? Aerobic exercise and stress management techniques. I have advocated walking for a number of years now for all Midlife/Longlife personality types as a great aerobic exercise. For most of us, that needn’t be daunting; brisk walking qualifies. Numerous studies have shown that exercise and stress management improve factors of cardiovascular disease risk, such as the heart’s pumping power during a mental stress test, better than standard care alone.
A couple of weeks ago while in Central Park, New York city, I took the opportunity to speak with a 93 year old man who walks some 3 miles of paths, 340 days a year. Sun, rain, snow. He walks extremely slow but he walks. Now some exercise experts are recommending a new measure for walking, steps not minutes. At the University of Tennessee David Basset, Jr., Ph.D. and Dixie Lee Thompson, Ph.D., say that counting steps is more reliable than time measurements. Basset recommends a goal of 10,0000 steps daily, which for sedentary people, that means adding about 5,000 steps, gradually he says, 10%-20% a week. Thompson studied two groups of women with sedentary lifestyles for four weeks. Both had sealed pedometers. Those who were advised to walk briskly 30 minutes actually walked an average of 8,270 steps whereas women who also carried a second pedometer so they could monitor their steps averaged 10,159 steps daily. She says that “having the pedometer as a constant reminder to build steps into one’s day provides an extra motivation to stay active.” Interesting that the gentlemen that I interviewed above, told me, “not only am I keeping my joints greased up, but I am keeping my mind active be reciting poetry, rehearsing stories of great memories of my life, and of course, I meditate.”
You will find a 10 week fitness program. May I encourage you to begin such a program, even if you are not a Type D personality. As you walk, pray, rehearse God’s faithfulness, rejoice in creation, recite God’s Word, and much more spiritual exercise. You may be inspired to develop a ministry of walking for those in and outside the faith community. Where else might be such an excellent place to share the gospel of Christ and personal testimony of God’s love with an unbeliever.
For information about kinds, features, and prices of pedometers, go to www.pedometers.com . It also includes reviews of various products.
We, here at Partners In Pastoral Care, are available to come to your community, do an assessment of need of the Midlife/Longlife generations and help develop a unique, individualized, and cutting edge plans for reaching out in ministry. Call our office or email us.
2. Most of us have provided for another joyous Christmas celebration and/or New Years social with our Midlife/Longlife groups in the past few weeks. Anyone who works with adults who have memory impairment or behavioral problems uses the fruits of clinical research every day. For example, studies of these elders and their reactions have shown a number of ways of over-stimulation -- and the problems that come with it -- can be prevented or controlled. I realize that most of us do not relish the fact that many of these beautiful people were unable to be a part of our or the church’s holiday celebrations. We are saddened to think that they are for the most part left out and alone. We expect that the facilities or families where they reside had something “special for them.” But let me see if I can help you, in a few ways, help those under your ministry with such difficulties, get more enjoyment out of celebrations or social events at the church.
If the elder is vulnerable to over stimulation, limit the activities or length of time in which the elder is included. For example, don't let a holiday celebration or social drag on for hours.
Establish a quiet room in the church, facility or home so that the elder can step out of the hustle and bustle for a calm moment.
Assign a family member or sensitive group member to be that activities companion to monitor how the elder is doing and to make sure the elder feels comfortable.
If the get-together is in the home or living facility of the person with memory impairment or behavioral problems, don't rearrange the furniture. This could be a source of confusion and anxiety. If the get-together is in a new place, remove slippery throw rugs or unnecessary obstacles.
Don't put out a lot of finger foods, like sweets, especially if any of the individuals has a problem with impulse control. Too many sweets can result in sugar-induced hyperactivity or an upset stomach.
Involve the elder in a simple, helpful preparation task, such as decorating, or setting tables. This aids self-esteem and helps the older adult feel a sense of contribution to the day's celebrations.
Engage everyone, including the memory-impaired elder, in reminiscing. Often, individuals with memory problems can recall the past even though they can't remember recent events. By getting these elders to talk about the past, newer believers discover their own spiritual roots or church tradition, and the memory-impaired elder will feel validated for their perspective on spiritual or faith history.
Avoid criticism that can embarrass or shame the older person. For example, when an elder forgets a recent conversation, refrain from asking, "Don't you remember?"
Be sure to know and maintain the elder's regular schedule of medications if it is a factor.
If you're traveling to bring the older adult, plan on how much time you'll need -- then double it. Rushing is very stressful for everyone. Make preparation and accommodations for items like a wheelchair.
All of these suggestions need to be individualized for each person and their special needs. These folks can get lost in the shuffle and chaos of joyous church gatherings. So just be sensitive and loving -- and plan ahead.
You can call or email us here at PIPC and ask about our various training programs.
3. A recent study entitled the Future of Retirement, and taken in 10 countries and territories conducted on four continents, including 11,453 people, who were 18 or older says: “Our research…. shows that people of all generations are beginning to recognize that their later years will be very different from the sort of lives that older people used to have.”
Key findings were that:
Later life is increasingly seen as a time of opportunity and reinvention, rather than rest and relaxation;
Although ageism is common in large parts of the world, many people are positive toward older people and to their own later years;
There is a global rejection of a mandatory retirement age, but “the freedom to choose one’s own lifestyle in latter life is not supported by government and employers,” because “policies and strategies do not yet accommodate the emerging model”;
Countries, territories, organizations and individuals very greatly in how prepared they are for retirement and could do more to adapt;
The role of family is changing, as future generations of elders may receive less care and financial support from their families and will be under growing pressure to be self reliant.
Among the findings in the United States are that 93% of respondents agreed that people should be able to work at any age, 64% felt that “retirement is an opportunity for a whole new chapter of life.” And only 23% saw it as a time for relaxation. Merely 19% of U.S. participants said they never wanted to work for pay again in retirement; 46% wish to move between work and leisure, 21% hope to work part time and 11% expect to work full time.
Partners In Pastoral Care presents a seminar/workshop entitled “The Changing Faces of Retiremen t- Where the rubber meets the road ” Longlifers and Midlifers, alike, who have been long, recently and Midlifers becoming retired or retreaded in the next 10 years will be inspired, challenged, and encouraged. The holistic approach is promoted by speaking to the spiritual, emotional, physical, and financial aspects of life.
4. A study recently showed that both ears hear differently. The right ear has a preference for speech-like sound, while the left ear reportedly prefers tones or music.
My neighbor visited our early Sunday morning worship a few weeks ago with us. Believe me, the song service at that hour of the morning is sedate to any of the three that follow. After service he apologized for not singing, explaining that the sound of the music caused him to lose his place in the song, even though we were singing from the hymnal and the words were on three large screens in front of the sanctuary.
You would do well to use only a microphone for the song leader and leave the instruments unamplified during song service. You may find that a vast number of older people in the worship service compliment the song service.
As people grow older there becomes a greater challenge for the hearing faculties to decipher words and music. Simply put, as my dear 93 year old neighbor puts it, “ it gets all jumbled up.”
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